I feel better now that your heart is on my bulletin board
"us," "you zeus, you" and "it's about dating" are all just an eye-flick away

my companions in your absence
my reminders of my higher purpose
my promise to you

Yes!
I will shine brite colors
at my demons
to scare them away
Yes!

you look better at starbux than kramer's
i can't explain it
it just is
to be fair
i likely set the tone
with my dour world-weary expression

Not two but ten now
have told me
to quit you
but it's like asking
heaven to cleave
from earth
I earth, moribund at present
you heaven, on borrowed wings
the roles may alternate
but one must always follow
like night to the day

and when I lay in your lap
I felt your mouth on my neck
I felt like a newborn
in her mother's embrace
and I remembered what
Dr. Smith always said:

We just need to be held.

Your attention was only distracting because
I smelled stale tobacco on my mouth and hair
that's why I wouldn't look at you and instead
buried my head in your jeans

I prayed tonight that God would make you invisible to me.

Like you never were or will be.

Sex is not an option, he told me.

What if I just slept at your feet and brought you coffee in the morning?

I will wait till you love me again.

If you knew you were the only one who could save my life, would you?

DDB Chronicles: Part 9

Where did my protector go? The one who always made it better? Where did my dance partner go? The one who always made it crazier? Where did my best friend go? The one who knew all my secrets?

DDB Chronicles: Part 8

Are you really happier without me? Isn't there some magic you miss?

DDB Chronicles: Part 7

This misery has no bounds, no form and no promise of dissipation.  I wish I was you.

DDB Chronicles: Part 6

i don't want to feel this way anymore! my romantic visions are hollow. and the energy expended so futile. what kind of adaptation is this? to mourn the lost with such vehemence? you're not coming back. but your breath makes it seem possible. can i will you dead in my mind? can i re-route the circuitry? fortified walls instead of open meadows. bones and dust instead of your warm blood.

DDB Chronicles: Part 5

I remember mornings most, in our kitchen.

The quality of light was always so superb!

You were always topless and vulnerable on those mornings.

Those mornings, I loved you most.

DDB Chronicles: Part 4

Do you remember that time I was disconsolate in the rain? I'd been on your stoop for at least four hours, chain-smoking, waiting, desperate for you to come home. It was shortly after the elections, if I recall.

When I finally saw your truck, after the hundreds that had passed by before, I was overjoyed. And you were overjoyed!

You held me tight and promised it would be OK.

And it was!

DDB Chronicles: Part 3

Shh! This is a secret!

Everyday I talk to people way more rational than you. They're lawyers for Christ's sake. In you, I wasn't looking for rationality so much as soul-sustenance. Do you know what that is? That's when you put your brain away for a while and just feel. We felt pretty good.

DDB Chronicles: Part 2

Do you remember our first kiss? Of course you do! It was fucking epic! You walked me home to Fuller Street and you were ready to say goodnight like a couple times before. But this time was different. There was a current in the air. And you went for it! Bless your heart, you went for it! You connected the two electrodes and I just stood there dumb-founded. This type of shit doesn't happen every day. Your upper lip enveloped my lower lip, there was the slightest essence of your tongue . . . And I was mesmerized, dumbfounded. I walked to the elevator and I shook. I shook all the way up to my apartment, grinning. Smiling the biggest smile I'd smiled in a while. And that's just how love happens.

DDB Chronicles: Part 1

Do you ever wander around this busted city looking for me? In and out of coffeehouses, circling fountains?  What about walking up and down my street, stopping to stare in dumb disbelief at my truck?  Remembering how we'd embark to almost wherever with DC's finest hip-hop and R&B as our only blessed soundtrack? Fuck yeah I'll lick you like a lollipop.  

The best were our trips to Chincoteague, no? Hopping from dune to dune before catapulting into the sea.  Foam whipped up, big doe eyes, seafood feast, ice-cream, whipped cream, sex and sleep -- no bad dreams, just heavenly peace.

You say you're rational but this just makes no sense.